


Broken

by anniespinkhouse



Series: Mine verse [8]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Body Modification, Bondage, D/s, Dubious Consent, Knotting, M/M, S/M, Self Lubrication, Spanking, blink-and-you-miss-it bestiality, collared, dark!fic, pet traits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:08:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anniespinkhouse/pseuds/anniespinkhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alpha!Jensen/Slave!Jared. Jensen has a dinner party. Jared has a break down.<br/>This is a future!fic verse where humans are kept as slaves by a genetically engineered super-race (Alphas).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS DARK!FIC. Please check the tags and click back if any of those themes offend. This is not a nice world and slavery is not depicted as romantic.
> 
> Betas: Thanks so much sylsdarkplace and meus_venator for making this better. All mistakes remain my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: Apparently, I cannot stress enough that this is fiction, pure fantasy folks. It isn't true and I wouldn't want it to be true. Nobody here belongs to me and they’re not likely to get in my van for candy any time soon. It is set in an alternate universe,and is an exploration of a dystopian society and a fucked up relationship within it. It isn't our own,real, J2 who I would never wish harm on.
> 
> Banner: The beautiful banner has been made by meus_venator. There is a whole set for this verse in the art post including some gorgeous snaggable icons. http://meus-venator.livejournal.com/11486.html Go tell her how wonderful it is!

 

 

 

 

Lights were dimmed, and the reflection of fire in the hearth created dark shadows and golden flicker. Ice clinked in glasses, and the murmur of business talk gave way to gossip and laughter. Soft music played in the background, and the smell of garlic chicken risotto and chocolate truffles lingered in the air. Jared could almost imagine the taste on his fuzzy, dry tongue. There were remnants that scattered discarded and sticky on his back, but the food was not for him.

Jared knew he looked good, and he was performing well, but his elbows ached with the strain of hours of statue-stiff service, and his back itched where ice melted and dripped down crystal glasses, onto his skin. Jared thought a week of light duties, and little discipline had made him lazy. Still, he kept his pose, and he was admired by several of his Master's guests, even if they did compliment the rarity of a real fire more. There were no treats or kind words from Jensen, who had barely been near since he had fastened the clasp of Jared's cock chain

His Master had been strict with the advice that the vet had given after Jared's surgery. It had been seven days without discipline, with fresh juices, long lie-ins and learning how to dress and walk correctly. Jared didn't understand how Jensen could cope without his pet’s service. He felt antsy and needy, and had been close to disobedience, more than once, just longing to feel the lash of a whip against his skin. He hated being taller than his Master when he walked, resting in bed made him bored and sweaty, and clothes were constricting.

Instead of disciplining Jared when he groused and exaggerated his discomfort, Jensen had backed off and left him alone for longer and longer periods.

Jared knew he should feel like a princess at the end of a fairytale, and he couldn't work out why the luxury he had longed for all his life, felt so terrible.

_On the day after his operation, Jared had woken groggily in a huge cozy bed, in a proper bedroom._

_Fresh white drapes rustled in a fine breeze, and Jensen laughed and kissed him softly on the lips while he still struggled to focus his eyes._

_Gen brought Jared's kibble porridge to Jensen, in bed, and showed off her nipple bars._

_“_ _She looks amazing with those, doesn't she Jared?”_

_Gen beamed at their Master. “Steve managed to prune the roses without his fingers getting scratched, and Mike says he's toastie-hot with his hat on. He wears it all the time. Jody has found some plain napkins to embroider for your dinner party on Friday.”_

_Jensen laughed, “Well that sounds wonderful. Now all we need is for Jared to recover, and be my centerpiece. How about that, Jared?”_

_“_ _Dinner party, Master?”_ h _e managed to ask. He felt dizzy and disoriented, and he wasn't sure what day or time it was. He squinted around the strange room in confusion._

_Jensen propped Jared half-sitting, against his chest. “It's okay, Sweetie. You're going to be a bit muddled. I did tell you. Do you remember? I have conceded to my nagging publisher, and organized a dinner party, and I had Steve prepare this bedroom, to better care for you.”_

_“_ _Mm,” Jared agreed, even if he really didn't remember. He accepted a puppy bottle of prune juice and meds, which Jensen tipped to his mouth and had him suckle, while stroking his hair._

 _“_ _Vet says you have to keep regular, and be medicated for the pain,” Jensen explained. “You're not to get out of bed unless someone is here to help you.”_

_Jared put his hands up to hold his bottle, but his Master slapped them away sternly. “No, Sweetie. I didn't give it to you.”_

_Jared braced himself for some form of punishment but none was given._

_Jensen spooned porridge into Jared's mouth, until the bowl was empty, and wiped his slave's lips, then had the tray removed by Mike. He dressed and left to work in the library, leaving Jared alone._

_The comfort of staying in the bed and being waited on grew stale as the day wore on. Jared was lonely, worthless and restless, and he found himself longing for the pain that his meds disguised, but each dose was given in the puppy bottle, by Jensen, to be suckled until it was finished._

_Time passed tortuously slowly, and when Jared was finally allowed to the library with his Master, it only reminded him of all the ways he was unable to serve him._

Jared huffed. He had to pull himself together. He was thinking like a spoiled brat.

He saw Genevieve's naked and decorated toes pass by, and heard her soft giggles. Somebody took refreshments from her tray with the slide of glass over metal and gruff thanks, but Jared was on his hands and knees, with his back perfectly straight. His head dipped down between his shoulders, and he couldn't see it.

A cool, round tumbler settled at the base of Jared's naked spine. Salt-gritty nuts fell and rolled down his ribs, chased by fingers which trailed and then lingered to pinch his ass. A drink was lifted from his shoulder, and someone pressed sharp fingernails into his flesh, just to admire the half-moon marks they made. All around Jared, guests engaged in conversation, without a care for the pet who served faithfully as their table.

The evening progressed without words or touch from his Master. Jared checked his poise constantly, worried that he had displeased Jensen.

Abandoned drinks burned icy-cold circles into his back, and the satisfying pain of cramped muscles was accompanied by the ever increasing torture of the jeweled silver plug, which fixed his decorated cock to the floor by a delicate chain. Every twitch or sway of Jared's body was sweet torture. It should have been a thrill, but instead he felt exposed, and crowded. The rough handling of strangers made him long for his master's touch, and the bustle made him appreciate the usual quiet of their house, where a single footstep could easily be identified back to its maker.

Jared's reverie was broken by the drag of fingertips through his hair, and a cheerful query,

"How'ya doin' buddy?”

Master Christian crouched in front of him, and tilted Jared's chin, so he could make eye-contact. He continued the soothing caress of Jared's hair. “I think your Master has been distracted. Have you had anything to drink?”

Jared wasn't permitted to speak. He turned his eyes down, to look at the floor. He felt the cold drinks being lifted from his back, and Christian's other hand rubbed warmth into the flesh where they had been.

"Okay, then.” Christian placed a glass of candy-bright liquor by Jared's lips. “Drink!”

Jared's eyes widened. Jensen sometimes hand-fed him in private, but taking a guest's food or drink, was unheard of. Then again, refusing a direct order at a public event was gross disobedience. The conflict confused him, and the unexpected kindness in Master Christian's offer confused him even more. He was startled by the single tear that dripped over his lashes.

"Jared. It tastes of chocolate and raspberries. I know you have a sweet tooth. All these alphas are only interested in themselves, and the money they can make from Jensen's research. You amused them for the first ten minutes of the evening, and now they've moved on. Live a little. It will relax you.” 

Jared resisted the sweet smell of the drink. He remained completely still. He was a good pet, and he had been given a task. His eyes became moist and spilled salty drops which rolled down to his lips and jaw.

"Shit!” Master Christian panicked, “Jared, I didn't mean to upset you. You can't cry here and now.” Of course he couldn't cry without permission. Jared knew it. It had been instilled in him since before he could walk. The knowledge didn't stop the flow, and Christian's obvious concern seemed to make it worse.

Christian's hands cradled his face and wiped his tears. Jared moved into the touch, and whimpered as the short chain on his cock plug pulled and jarred every nerve with overwhelming sensation. His breath shortened and his heart jack-rabbited against his ribs.

“That's it! I called in to save Jensen from boredom, but he can suffer a little. Hang on. Act natural, for a few minutes.”

A hysterical giggle threatened to burst through Jared's lips, because, ' _act natural',_ when he was kneeling as a table in a crowded room, and chained to the floor by his dick, was legitimately funny.

Christian moved away, contact was lost, and Jared let his defenses kick in. He slipped into a haze, with his mind floating somewhere above his body. It didn't stop the steady rain of teardrops, but he wouldn't acknowledge them.

“C'mon.” Jared startled at Master Christian's return.

There was the click of his cock chain being unclasped, and a snick of a leash on Jared';s collar.

"Heel, Jared.” Christian tugged on the leash, and Jared resisted.  

“Hey, where's my drink? Where are you taking the pet? He's got a red ribbon,” a strange voice cut in.

“Pet walker,” snapped Christian, and pulled harder, giving a little shout, “Hey, Jensen, sorry I'm late, I'll just carry on, shall I?”

“Chris? Em, yeah, fine. You go ahead.” Jensen's reply, from the other side of the room, was puzzled but dismissive.

Christian tugged Jared's leash again, and leaned in, to hiss in his ear, “Move! Do you want them to see you cry?”

Jared crawled to heel in a moment. Pain shot through stiff limbs in protest at his sudden movement, but whatever the pain, he had to get out before he ruined his Master's reputation with his shameful failure. His nose was beginning to run and the tears wouldn't stop.

Master Christian took control. He found Jody in the hall. “Is my usual room free, Jody?”

Jody looked down at Jared and back up at Christian, with evident concern, and nervously touched the red ribbon on her collar. She spoke up with a tremble. “What?...but Master Jensen didn't say you were coming... It is free, Sir. Of course, Master Christian, but the pet has a red ribbon.”

Christian glared at her. “I'm not going to play with Jensen's toy. Jared is having a time-out. He needs a safe space.” The words were genuine, spoken with a comforting hand on Jared's head.

Jared gulped back a sob. His task hadn't been demanding, and he had failed completely. He hung his head in shame, unable to meet Jody's eyes. He remembered words that Master Jensen's father had spoken, “Padaleckis break more often than others.”

Jared was a Padalecki. He thought he might have really broken this time, and after Jensen had spent so much time and money on him, it was the worst sort of failure.

 _“_ _Returned! Refunded! Useless! Only good for the dogs, and his parts.” Their trainer flicked his whip and paced, still furious, even after hours of the pet's torture. Jared's legs cramped as he knelt but he dared not move or make a sound. He would be a proper Padalecki and make his owners proud. He wouldn't fail and be returned, like Kieran._

_The entire kennel watched the punishment. Jared didn't close his eyes when they tied the defective pet ass up, over a low bench, and brought the hounds in, straining against their chains, and snarling to get to a mate. It wasn't the first time he'd seen what happened to pets that had to be refunded._

_Jared didn't make a sound when the fight left Kieran's eyes. The boy's mouth closed as his silent pleas ceased, but a huge guard-hound continued to rut into his ass, the knot pumping into his ruined, sloppy hole. Blood and dog come oozed down slim, pale legs and congealed on the floor under the reject._

_When it was done, before the pet's heart could stop and render him entirely worthless, Jared helped to lift him into the knacker's van. Kieran's remarkable hazel eyes opened, and his hand squeezed Jared's with forefinger and thumb, the kennel-mates' code for, “It's okay.”_

_Jared wondered if Kieran's eyes would be the first organs they scooped from him, and whether any part of his essence would remain in the alpha who took his heart._

Jared thought he finally understood his kennel mate's calm acceptance. Jared didn't deserve a fast bullet to end him. Jensen had spent considerable sums of money on his purchase and his surgery, and he should have the chance to recover some of it. Jared would be sold for organ harvesting or labor, and even though it terrified him, he would go quietly.

Suddenly weak, and shaking violently, Jared leaned into Master Christian's solidity.

"Shit! Oh, fuck! Hang in there, sweetheart. Are you sick?”

Jared shook his head, “No, Master,” he said with a snuffle.

Christian smoothed Jared's trembling shoulder. “Jody, make up a hot water bottle, bring blankets, and fetch soft-wide wrist cuffs from Jensen's room.”

Christian's keys rattled, as he threw them to Jody, “Theresa is in my car, I wasn't going to stop. One of you unlock her, and send her up to me. She won't be any trouble.”

Jody looked to the reception rooms, and back to Christian, in a dilemma, “Master Christian, the guests...” Jody had been given duties, and leaving her post, to help Christian, put her in jeopardy.

"You won't be reprimanded Jody, not if Jensen wants to keep our friendship,” Christian practically spat the words.

"Yes, Master Christian.”  She curtsied before turning, and dashed to perform the new tasks.

Jared slipped in and out of a teary haze as he was coaxed upstairs and into Christian's room. He tried to kneel, to beg Master Christian's forgiveness, but he was pulled up and sat on the edge of a bouncy wide bed. Christian had him hug a hot-water bottle into his belly, wrapped him with a blanket and then his arms engulfed Jared in a tight hug, so his head rested on Christian's shoulder. Jared sobbed in earnest; with ugly heaving breaths and wet snotty sniffs.

Christian's hand splayed over his back and rubbed slowly. “I should have known you were in your zone _,_ Jared. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done or said what I did. You know you're far more precious than ten minutes novelty, don't you?”

Jared's breath caught in shock, and his tears stopped for a few seconds, before they restarted with a vengeance. “I'm broken and a failure and Master can't get a refund. It's been a week since my surgery. He couldn't use me, and he didn't need me. He wouldn't speak to me at the party, and I don't know what I did wrong.” The words were out before Jared could stop them.

Christian tensed, and then sighed. He pulled Jared closer. His arms were warm, his hair soft and tickly, and he smelled of alpha, sandalwood and lime.

"You want to know a secret, Jared? And I'll trust you never to tell. We alphas don't _need_ any of you. We can live our lives without you. We could do our own chores. We can work through our stupid aggression with a lot of exercise, and a little therapy. Jensen _could_ live without you, and he managed alone, for a while, when he returned from Europe.”

Jared's heart broke a little more, but Christian continued, “The truth is, that Jensen _wants_ you. Alphas want the last tenuous link that we have to our humanity. We crave it, become addicted to it, yet resent it and punish you for it, because there is one thing that we will never be able to cut out of your hearts and transplant into our own.”

Jared sniffed and raised his head to look at Master Christian in utter surprise.

"Your soul, Jared,” he clarified, “A capacity for unconditional love, forgiveness, irrational hate, a passion for life and fear of death. When we own you, we experience just a fraction of it, second hand...”

Christian bent to speak in Jared's ear, and the alpha's eyes shone, “...and it is _exhilarating_ ...but there can be more. We can procreate with other alphas, be comfortable with their habits and happy living with them, but, sometimes, _rarely_ , with the right human and natural chemistry...there can be more. We discover we _can_ love, in our selfish way. It makes us need you, more than food or shelter. Even while we want to tear every strip of skin from you, to bleed every last drop of your blood, it opens us up. We crack, and we _feel_ , and we _care._ It's dangerous in our society, as scary as fuck, and it makes us vulnerable, but we will do anything to keep the feeling, and keep it a secret.”

Christian pulled back and continued the slow rub of Jared's back. Jared's eyebrows knotted as he wondered about Christian's secret. There was something in the way the alpha spoke that was uncharacteristically personal.

Christian only paused for breath. “Of course you're broken, Jared. We keep you _because_ you are broken. You've been broken since before you can recall, and the cracks were deliberate, because we like to tease them open, to make them bleed your soul and suffering. Right now, you're cracked wide open, and I can't help the kick it gives me. I wish it didn't give me satisfaction, but I won't lie, it does.”

A lithe slave in tight jeans and a low cut t-shirt slipped quietly into the room and knelt, waiting for instructions. Christian nodded to acknowledge her presence, then continued to speak to Jared, rocking him in his arms.

"You must know what is between you and Jensen. It's not what he's had with any other slave or pet. You have chemistry. I know he cares, and I know he won't let you go easily, but it will seem to him like every alpha in the room can sense it, unless there is distance between you.”

"And you. You think everyone will see if you cry, because you're human and you care enough to notice these things, but we don't, not if we're not looking for a reason to judge or hurt you. Nobody important saw you fail tonight. Jensen doesn't have to restore his reputation. You will take a punishment, and he will carry right on loving you.”

Jared didn't know what to think. The words 'loving you' sunk in and his chest heaved. His sobs gained renewed vigor, and he buried his head into Christian's shoulder, and let himself be rocked.

Christian petted him as he spoke to his own slave, “Theresa, get the shower running, make sure there is plenty of guest soap and some soft towels. Jared is going to have a good cry, and take a hot shower.”

Jared didn't have the will to argue. Theresa silently obeyed her Master.

He didn't know how long he cried. Only that Christian held him throughout, and Theresa came to sit with them, one hand in her Master's, the other smoothing Jared's forehead. He wondered if she had ever cried similar tears in Christian's arms.

Christian seemed to sense his curiosity. “Theresa is mute. Her breeder took her voice. She was a bed slave with a hotel agency.” His eyes glinted with pride, “High class, well trained, and beautiful, and I wanted her the first time I hired her. I went to her owner and bargained a price for her. It almost bankrupted me. You wonder about everything I told you, and your guess is right. Loving her is the toughest thing I have ever done.”

Theresa smiled. She dipped in to kiss her Master, and he welcomed it.

When they pulled apart, Christian spoke again, “You know I shouldn't be telling you any of this, but I saw Jensen's face when he discovered you. His attraction to you was instant, and I warned him about the dangers, but he didn't listen, and I knew he wouldn't. He lacks social skills, and he doesn't engineer situations to his advantage. No doubt he is down there right now, worried about you, cornered by the most obnoxious alpha, and unable to extricate himself from their company.”

Jared frowned. He should have been by his Master's side supporting him, not performing as a silent decoration.

"You need to try harder, Jared. You still don't talk to him about important things. You _have_ to tell him when you need to hurt and cry, and when it is too much. Let him crack you open safely, in private, before a crisis. He probably believed he was doing the right thing by giving you a break from discipline after your modifications, but God knows, he should have taken your pain. I hear that Genevieve had to deal with a bunny massacre these last few days.”

Jared chuckled weakly, and sniffed. All Jensen's slaves had noticed his killing spree, Gen was fed up with cooking the results, and they would be eating rabbit stew for weeks.

"Tell me what bothered you at the party. Was it being used the way you were? Is it the changes the vet recommended? I heard you hate wearing clothes.” The alpha pressed on, with a hint of command for Jared to answer the questions.

Jared was too weary to resist. “I don't know. Clothes are strange; they cling and choke me, but I don't mind really. The Table is a show pose. It was good to be naked and useful. I've performed it often, and I think I looked pretty, but I ached, and Master Jensen was away from me so long when others were touching. Then, your offer confused me, and I didn't know how to answer.”

“And after that?”

Jared's eyes clouded with tears again. He didn't want to remember.

Christian answered for him, “The cracks got too wide, and it all came tumbling out, huh?”

Jared nodded and sniffed. Christian released him from his hug and pushed him up.

“Have a shower, Jared. Use the red shower gel and shampoo. It's the brand that Jensen uses. The scent might help to calm you. Theresa uses mine when I am away from her, and she swears it helps.”

Jared sluiced rich lather from his skin, with hot water. He breathed the scent in and imagined Jensen's presence. When he was through, he allowed Theresa to dry and oil his skin. He was taken on a leash to Jensen's room where Master Christian cuffed his wrists behind his back. Jared sank to his knees, bowed his head to the floor, and awaited his punishment in a traditional pose.

Just before Master Christian left him, he called out in a wavering voice, “Sir, do you think my Master will put me out?”

Christian answered gruffly, “It's your Master's decision, Jared,” but several minutes later he returned to tie a blindfold over Jared's eyes and place a thin willow cane between his teeth. “There, I can think of many things to do with you like that, and none of them involve being put out.”

Jared was unable to thank him. He heard the door shut and waited in the dark, for his Master's punishment.

 

***

**  
** The door slammed and he heard Master Jensen's steps. Jensen approached and stilled in front of him. No word was spoken, no touch given, yet Jared could feel his Master's presence and his skin tingled with anticipation.

  
He felt a whisper of air movement, smelled the scent of after shave. The cane was pulled from his mouth, and the red ribbon taken from his collar without a touch of Jensen's fingers on his skin. Then more air currents as Jensen turned and walked away.  
  
The closet door swished, fabric rustled, and Jensen sighed. Then the bed creaked, and Jared imagined him sitting on the edge of it, and wondered if his Master was looking at him, or if he had something else to keep his attention.  
  
An ancient clock ticked. In the distance there was the growl of traffic. Time stretched, and Jared's despair was as black as his vision.  
  
“Will your silence always be our battle, Jared?” Jensen eventually said, sad and soft. He tutted before launching into a familiar game.  
  
“Pop quiz, Jared -  Table”  
  
Jared knew what was expected, he answered the prompt meekly and instantly, “Service.”  
  
“Party.”  
  
“Crowd.”  
  
“Childhood.”  
  
“Pet.”  
  
“Padalecki.”  
  
“Me.”  
  
“Huh.” Jensen paused the game. “I don't think I know enough about you as a pup to do this, try...hm,  Padalecki Kennels,”  
  
“Broken, Master.”  
  
“Broken?”  
  
“Jared.”  
  
“It was a question, not a prompt, Sweetie.  
  
"I made a mistake. Forgive me, Master.”  
  
“ _Jared, guh!_ ” Jensen's voice was laced with frustration.   
  
Jared was sure he was about to be put out.  
  
“You kneel for my punishment, Sweetie. Tell me what I am to punish you for.”  
  
“I am a failure and a brat, Master.”  
  
Jared heard the gentle slap of the cane being bounced in Jensen's hand, and a thrill traveled his spine.  
  
“Why are you a failure, Jared?”  
  
“I left the room without your permission. I cried. I risked your reputation.”  
  
Jensen snorted back a laugh, then swallowed it with a serious, “Oh.”  
  
There was a long silence. Jared didn't know if he was expected to say something more, but he couldn't think of anything. “Your guests said you were very clever,” he tried.  
  
Jared recognized the whistling inhale of Jensen biting his lip. All the waiting was torture. He longed to get his punishment over with.  
  
“Why did you cry, Jared?”  
  
“I'm a brat, Master. I missed your attention.”  
  
“Who unchained you and led you away, Jared?”  
  
Jared cringed; of course that was the greater crime. He had been red-ribboned in public and yet he had allowed an alpha to unchain and take him, without once trying to get his Master's attention. “Master Christian,” he admitted.  
  
“Did you go to Master Christian's bedroom, Jared?”  
  
_Oh god, oh god, oh god._ “Yes, Master.”  
  
“And he gave you the attention that I hadn't? And don't you think that might affect my reputation also?” Jensen's voice was ice and steel.  
  
_He was so screwed._  
  
“I, I ….,” Jared stammered. Christian didn't deserve to have his reputation and friendship ruined for protecting Jensen and being kind to Jared. Unnatural defiance leaped from Jared's lips, “No! He didn't play with me. He let me cry without your guests seeing. He talked to me, and he only came by to rescue you from boredom. He helped you, and he let me shower in your scent to calm me. I met Theresa, and then he prepared me for your punishment.”  
  
There was silence in the room once more, but outside hover wagons whooshed noisily along the road.  
  
“Stand up, Jared.” The words were hissed in his ear and Jared jumped with shock. He hadn't sensed Jensen's approach. He flexed his muscles and carefully stood straight, knowing that the blindfold, the long wait and his bound wrists would all compromise his balance.   
  
“Why can you defend everyone but yourself?”   
  
“I don't know,” Jared whispered back, and if he weren't already cried-out, there would be tears.  
  
“Not good enough, Jared. Try again.” Jensen's breath tickled his ear, it smelled of wine and garlic and breath-mint.  
  
“I don't know,” he insisted. Every fiber of him waited for,  _needed,_  the sharp whack and cut of the cane, but it didn't come.   
  
“ _Not-good-enough_ , Jared. I can ask questions all night, and you will stand, all night, and I will not touch you, and I will not whip you. I won't even put you out, but I will know what you are thinking. I will have the tools to fix this mess.” Jensen tapped Jared's head as he spoke. “Christian approached you improperly; Christian took you with a red ribbon. Jody helped him. My editor watched and didn't tell me. Why can you defend everyone but yourself, Jared? Why be the sacrificial lamb? Is it for attention? Is it for the whipping you think I will give you?”  
  
“No, please, I don't...,”   
  
“ ** _I_**  wasn't there for you.  ** _I_**  didn't get you a drink.  ** _I_**  lost track of time and  ** _I_**  never praised you once.  ** _I_**  didn't notice that Christian was taking you, even though he called to me, and it could have been anyone,  ** _anyone,_** and you would have gone with them because you didn't want to ruin  ** _my_**  party.” His Master's voice cracked as he shouted. “Do you have any idea what might have happened to you?”  
  
Jared cringed. He didn't know what to say.  
  
“So, why,  _why_ , do you think I should punish  _you_?” Jensen sounded tearful.   
  
Jared thought Jensen had probably drunk too much wine. Jared should be helping him to bed, bringing him water, and warming his cock, not upsetting him with his stupidity.  
  
“ **Answer the question, Jared**!” Jensen had changed sides again, and the yell was loud and angry in his other ear.  
  
Every part of his mind scrabbled for an answer and in an instant, his history, Christian's words, and his racing emotions juggled into place, and the truth burst from his lips, without a pause for breath, “Because I'm broken  _for you_ , because it's how I was made, and there will always be cracks. I can never be perfect. You don't get perfect, because I was made to be needy, to shatter and beg for more. I need you to bleed the past and the poison from me. I need you to need me.” Jared's lungs felt like they would burst, and he panted through the horror of his outburst.  
  
“I always knew you were bright.” The statement was calm, and a little sad. Gentle fingertips stroked Jared's chin, and over the silk of the blindfold. “You know the word  _perfect_  can be subjective, right?”   
  
“I don't know what that means.” Jared replied honestly.   
  
_“_ _Perfect – satisfying all requirements, Subjective – based on feelings or opinions rather than facts.”_ Jensen laughed. “Never date a writer.”   
  
Wet tongue lapped Jared's earlobe, and lips sucked a purple round on his neck. Jared's cock twitched and took notice.  
  
“It means that whatever ways you are broken, if I think it makes you beautiful, then you are. If you are everything I need, then it doesn't matter what is broken; you remain perfect.”   
  
Strong fingers squeezed his nipples and pulled roughly, making Jared arch his back and tip his neck. Sharp teeth nipped the skin by his Adam's apple until it broke with a bloom of sharp pain and deep red blood. Jared submitted, giving better access to defile his neck.  
  
Jensen nuzzled Jared' s nose with his own and kissed the little upturned end. “I was going to take you for a test run tonight to check out your modifications. I don't see why my evening should be ruined by mistakes that others made. The plan was to spank you until your ass glows, then pin you to my bed and fuck you so hard, you scream, and you don't get to come unless it's on my knot and on my command. I need to hurt you. I need to see you writhe and plead. Then, I want my knot to stretch you wider than it ever has, and fill you deep, and you will take everything I give you, like my good pet should.”  
  
Jensen crowded in to Jared, chest to chest, and Jared could feel his Master's naked skin with short, rough hair, and beyond that, the rise and fall of his Master's lungs, and the rapid beat of his heart. Jensen was naked, hot and sweaty with the heavy stench of alpha-arousal, and his huge dick bobbed against Jared's hip.  
  
Jared's breath hitched with the fear of penetration, and he took a step back. He knew it was irrational, he knew he was fixed, but he couldn't help his body's visceral reaction to what was going to happen to him.  
  
Jensen's strong hand caught him and gripped his shoulder hard. “You wanted punishment, Jared? I can give you punishment  _and_  take what I need.”  
  
Suddenly, Jared was spinning in the dark, stumbling with the heavy push that Jensen gave. His left leg hit the frame of the bed with bruising force and he crumpled, half on and half off the mattress, unable to see, or use his hands to right himself.   
  
Jensen's grip was rough fire against his skin, as he was maneuvered, blind, stumbling and dizzy, to where Jensen wanted him. Jared was bent double over his lap, with the alpha's cock poking uncomfortably into his ribs. His shoulders were pulled back by his cuffed wrists, his face smashed against the floor and his toes gathered carpet burn. The unfastened chain of his cock-plug scraped against the length of his half-hard dick, crushed with his balls between Jensen's strong thighs, and the pain was excruciating, yet there was the flicker of unusual excitement too.  
  
“You think I didn't want to take you  _every single day_ ,” Jensen's growl was feral, “You think I didn't want to bruise you, choke you, and make you bleed? You think it didn't half kill me to see that clenching hole, just waiting for a knot, yet have to resist plunging straight in. I had to stay away while you healed, or I would ruin you. You think I didn't have  _needs_  too?”   
  
Jensen's hand landed with a vicious smack on Jared's left thigh, and he jolted and whimpered with the sudden shock. He shook his head trying to get the hated blindfold from his eyes and Jensen stopped him with a solid palm against his neck, grinding his face further into the floor. “No! You wanted to suffer, and I have waited patiently to take it.”  
  
The knowledge that he wouldn't see Jensen this first knotting since being altered was a crushing disappointment. Jensen had told him he could, outside the vet's building, on the day of his surgery, and it was what had been making the thought of the inevitable, unprepared penetration bearable.  
  
“Please, Jensen, you said you would look at me.” Jared couldn't help his whine.   
  
Jensen's hand came down again, with full force and the burn was horribly satisfying. Jensen squeezed his thighs around Jared's balls and Jared cried out.  
  
“I didn't give you permission to speak!” Jensen sounded out of control, and Jared wondered about a week spent waiting to take what he had paid for and an evening consuming wine. There was a curl of panic threading its way through Jared's every sweating pore and nerve end. Whatever else had happened between them, he was used to Jensen being in control.  
  
“Jen...aagh,”   
  
The next smack smarted with the smooth wood of a paddle over the center of his ass-cheeks. It nicked the handle of his butt plug, driving it to ram hard into his hole. Jared's cock twitched and strained to fatten, and he felt a shameful desire to rut into Jensen's thighs.  
  
“I said, I didn't want to hear it, Jared. I think you need some help.” Jensen grabbed a handful of Jared's hair and yanked his head back, as far as his neck would stretch without breaking. His windpipe constricted, and he was choking for air, wet tears staining the silk blindfold. It was terrifying and a turn-on all at once, and the force of his arousal was shocking. He struggled, kicking his legs, to bruise his feet on the floor. He coughed and wheezed, but Jensen didn't let go until Jared's mouth was stuffed full of smooth plastic dildo and the gag was secure, pinching into the back of his skull and pulling at strands of hair.   
  
Jared understood then. They weren't in the playroom, so any toys that Jensen had to hand were deliberately placed for use. His Master was still in control. This had been planned for Jared's punishment and to sate Jensen's needs, using some of the toys Jared hated most. He sucked on the dildo, let his head fall limply against the floor and relaxed the whole of his body, ready to take what was given.  
  
Master Jensen rested a hand lightly on his shoulder, and Jared was sure he could sense a smile, “I said you were bright, Sweetie. Try not to count, you don't want to know how many...” Jared felt him raise his arm again, and the nail-head side of the paddle swiped his right buttock with a flare of pain. The humiliation of knowing that the metallic pattern within the wood spelled the words 'BAD PET' onto his skin, and of being unable to prevent his instinct to rut into Jensen's thighs, had his face flushed as red as his ass.  
  
After forty spanks, Jared discovered that there were still more tears to cry and he writhed in agony, biting chunks out of his gag. When Jensen finally pushed him off his lap, he thought his ass cheeks might be bleeding, and the top of his thighs were numb with pain. He would be a mess of bruises in the morning, and yet his newly mended dick was erect, and throbbing against the constraint of its plug and the ring that dug heavily under its smooth head.  
  
Jensen dragged him to the center of the bed, and Jared thought he was lucky his arms didn't snap under him, but the soft mattress molded around him.  
  
Fear of penetration was chased away by an all-consuming desire to get off. Jensen had been clear that Jared would only come on his knot, and for the first time, Jared was desperate to be fucked and filled. The sting of bedding against his ass and the discomfort of his hands cuffed behind his back was nothing compared to his base need to empty his heavy balls.  
  
Master Jensen straddled Jared's blinded face. He rubbed his salt-sweaty sacs over all over his pet's hair, cheeks and neck and complained that Jared's disobedience prevented his pet from freshening him with his tongue, but Jared had been fucked by him often enough to know he couldn't last much longer. He was teasing Jared, because he could. It wasn't long before Jensen slid down the bed, leaving a trail of pre-come smeared over Jared's chest.  
  
The substantial butt-plug popped easily out of his ass with a twist, and there was relief in hearing the gelatinous squelch of self-lubrication that Vet Ferris’s operation had promised. The trail of wet drips that followed it were slightly gross, but Jared knew it made him better for his Master.  
  
“Jesus. I knew you'd like it rough. You smell like candy, pet. So wet for me.” Jensen's fingers dipped into the rim of Jared's ass and circled the edge.  
  
Jared arched up to meet them, chasing the intimate contact.  
  
Jensen thrust two fingers inside without warning, and it was strange but not painful. He put a third finger in and plunged hard, scraping against the nub of Jared's prostate. The sensation was lightning and arousal and it sizzled through every part of his body and soul. All the times he had chased  _something_  with Jensen, he couldn't ever have imagined this. Jared thrashed his head from side to side. He wriggled and pushed for  _more, more, more,_  but Jensen just took his hand away and laughed. “So eager Sweetie, but I made a deal.”  
  
Jensen parted Jared's legs wide to crawl between them. Warm lips kissed a trail of sensation up the inside of his pet's burning-sore thighs, as he lifted them to rest on his shoulders. The blunt head of Jensen's cock nudged at Jared's wet hole but he didn't breach his pet yet. His soft mouth nuzzled, nipped, licked and sucked, into Jared's navel, along the line of his hip bones, concentrated on his nipples and then to his neck.  
  
Jared moaned and whined with need, but Jensen's firm weight prevented eager humping.  
  
“Oh, Sweetie! Look at you. Such a pain slut, just itching to get off on my knot, aren't you?”  
  
Jared nodded his head enthusiastically and tried to throw Jensen off. Jensen laughed, genuine and unfettered. “I have a price, pet.”  
  
Jared felt the snick of the dildo gag being released and he blinked as elegant fingers slid the blindfold up, over his sweat-damp hair.  
  
“Kiss me,” Jensen smiled.   
  
Jared flexed his lips for only a second before surging up to meet his Master's kiss. The unexpected light hurt his eyes but he wouldn't close them. Jensen was face to face with him, flushed pink, and dark-eyed with arousal. He had kept his word, he was going to look at Jared while he fucked him, and Jared was going to savor every moment.  
  
Jensen fucked him balls deep on his first thrust. Jared screamed into their kiss, but he didn't break the vacuum of their lips, and he pushed up to meet it.  
  
It was fast, messy and desperate, and each stroke had Jared begging for his cock plug to be removed. Jensen just grinned, nipped his lip or squeezed his nipple, and continued to fuck and grind into him, slapping his balls against the bruised flesh of Jared's ass just to see his head thrash and hear him whimper.  
  
His Master supported himself over Jared, like a gymnast performing easy push-ups. His muscles bulged and flexed with the rhythm of sex. Sweat formed sparkling drops and dripped from Jensen's hair, darkening it. It gathered and ran over his shoulders and chest, where Jared stuck his tongue out to lap it up. Jared thought it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen, and it only brought more torture to his aching balls and eager dick.  
  
“Oh fuck! Better than I ever thought. So good pet. So tight and slick, and eager for me, and your cherry-spanked ass moves so beautifully. Do you feel better?”  
  
Jared gave a blissful moan and grinned.  
  
As they gathered pace, they stopped talking. Jensen groaned and grunted, sucked hard on Jared's nipples, then stilled. One arm bulged muscle to support him while the other smoothed Jared's brow. “You’re going take my knot now, Sweetie, I know you can. Gonna let you come – you want that?”  
  
Jared was delirious with need and Jensen was still teasing?  
  
“Fuck, Jen, 'bout time, yes, yes, fucking yes, please.”  
  
Jensen's reply was grated out on a breathy chuckle. “Huh, well you got the please, but I think the correct phrase, is, “Yes, please, my merciful and great Master Jensen.”  
  
Jared's mouth had somehow disconnected from his brain, maybe everything except his dick had. “Fuck You!” he laughed.  
  
Jared didn't have a chance to worry about the punishment for disrespect. Deft fingers reached between them to release the ring around his glans, and ruby-jeweled cock-plug was worked out with practiced wriggles and smooth pull. The puckered muscles of his ass stretched impossibly around Jensen's swelling knot, at the same time as smooth metal slid out of his urethra, yet the discomfort was nothing compared to the body-arching, “ _Fucking holy shit, don't stop, don't you dare stop, crap,_   ** _Jen, I'm going to come,_** sensation that exploded through Jared's every atom and enveloped his mind. His orgasm chased the plug out, spilling warm come over Jensen's fingers and his own belly. Firecracker sensation gave way to overwhelming emotion and there were more tears, because he hadn't known how it should be, just what was taken from him, and what he should have given Jensen, all this time.   
  
Jensen's knot lodged tight and spilled the first burst of his orgasm immediately after Jared's. Jensen shook and shouted his own expletives, and held on to Jared so tight there would be fingertip bruises in the morning. Jared thought they would look perfect on him.  
  
When Jensen calmed, and his come pumped in gentler bursts from his knot, he had a goofy-content expression. There were red high-spots on his cheeks, and his eyes became misty green. He sucked lazily on Jared's earlobe, while his fingers spread rings of Jared's own come on Jared's stomach.  
  
Sense returned gradually to Jared, and he remembered his place, “Thank you, Jensen.” He bit his lip, suddenly nervous, “Am I fixed for you, Master?"  
  
Jensen looked down at him and smiled with undisguised affection. “You're a _bsolutely perfect_ , and you're mine. Only mine. Don't think I don't care just because I'm insensitive. I'm an alpha."  
  
“My alpha,” affirmed Jared tiredly.  
  
Jensen rolled them to the side get comfortable as the knotting continued, and hefted Jared to lie partly over him, in his embrace. He stroked Jared's shoulder and down his bound arms. Jared curled his fingers upward to catch Jensen's hand in his own for a moment, and Jensen let him.  
  
Jared thought it felt good, or even freaking amazing to be filled and fucked, and owned this way. His modified body fitted perfectly with his Master's, like a lock made for a key. The sweet power of arousal and orgasm was an effective antidote for panic, and the terrifying pain and humiliation of their previous couplings was washed away the moment his Master broke apart for him, with teary eyes and taut body.  
  
Jared tried to memorize every detail of Jensen's blissed-out expression, knowing that he put it there. Jared might be broken, but he was broken for his Master and it pleased Jensen. Jared was a good pet.  
  
He yawned. He tried to snuggle into his Master's shoulder, to rest, but he couldn't get balanced with his wrists still cuffed behind his back. He remembered Christian's advice.  
  
“My arms really hurt, in a bad way,” he mentioned.  
  
“And your ass doesn't?” Jensen was amazed.  
  
“Well yes, but that's in a good way. A very good way.” Jared didn't think that even drugs could give him a high like he was currently floating on.   
  
“So the vet is good? We should send her a fruit basket?”  
  
“Mmhmm.” Jared kissed Jensen lightly on his lips. “Thank you, for making it better for me.”  
  
“Mmm, better for me,” Jensen replied quickly. He licked at Jared's lip until Jared opened his mouth, and he kissed his pet roughly, sucking on his tongue, and nipping as he finished.  “I think you're deliberately side-tracking me, pet. I'm not sure I should take off your cuffs. I am certain you insulted me back there, though I cannot imagine where you might have learned such a phrase.” Jensen's lip curled up as he teased.   
  
Jared bravely teased back, “I think you misheard when I said 'thank you', my great and merciful Master Jensen.”  
  
Jensen threw his head back and chuckled until he snorted. “I love you, Sweetie,” he declared, and though his words were full of laughter, his eyes softened and lingered on Jared's face.  
  
Jared blushed and buried his head in Jensen's shoulder, while his Master unclipped his wrists and rubbed the stiffness from his shoulders.  
  
“I'm glad you told me it hurt in the wrong way. It's what I need to know, Jared. You'll be sore enough in the morning.”  
  
“Well at least I'm not on the wet patch,” murmured Jared. His head ached, and he was so tired that his eyelashes fluttered with the effort of keeping his eyes open. Jensen's knot still pulsed in him, but it was softening.  
  
“Go to sleep, Jared. If you don't wake up when I'm done, I will roll your heavy ass over to rearrange the bedclothes and rub ointment on you.”   
  
“You'd do that for me?”  
  
Jensen winked at him. “Of course, but don't blame me if I can't resist taking that sweet hole again while you snore.”  
  
Jared had the uncomfortable impression that his Master was serious, but every part of him ached and burned, and the thought of it didn't scare him any more. He touched the soft leather of his collar. Whatever words were used, nothing ever really changed. He was his Master's pet. He had a place and a purpose, and he would be used whenever, and however, Jensen wanted.  
  
He had a thought as sleep chased him, and it made his heart swell, and he beamed. Jensen knew Jared was broken, and Jensen wanted him that way. Jensen thought Jared was perfect just the way he was.  
  
Jensen placed a gentle kiss on Jared's hair. “You shame the sun when you smile, Jared.”  
  
It was enough to chase the darkest nightmares away.

 

~~~

~*~thanks for reading ~*~comments are candy for my soul~*~

**Author's Note:**

> I love feedback and discussion of any part of my fic. If I have errors let me know, but anything telling me how sick I am/wrong this verse is will be deleted. You really didn't have to read this far. Please comment in English if possible or from an active A03 account. Previous experiences suggest that google translate doesn't do such a great job and can lead to bad feeling so non- English comments not linked to an active account will be deleted.


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